The Power of a Positive Money Mindset

“Everything is figureoutable” - Marie Forleo

The dream of living a life I loved once felt like an impossible goal. I'd been blessed with my wonderful family, however money worries constantly overshadowed my aspirations in terms of how I wanted to live. But a shift in perspective, admittedly prompted by sheer desperation to escape an unhappy situation, changed everything. I replaced the mantra of "I can't afford it" with "How can I afford it?" This transformation ignited a journey towards a life I love.

Recently I attended a Your Money Sorted course on Preparing for Retirement (for Teachers). Prior to this session, talk of my pension always scared me and I’ve dealt with that by taking the ostrich approach of burying my head in the sand. So I felt very grown up and responsible for signing up to this course! Among all the practical advice, one of the key aspects that I took away was the importance of money mindset. When this was mentioned I immediately relaxed, realising that it wasn’t purely about investments and increasing wealth (although of course that could be desirable!). I was going to be able to utilise my positive money mindset to manage our finances in our golden years; figuring it out and making it work, just as I’m currently doing.

Developing a positive money mindset didn’t happen overnight. It’s been a journey spanning several years. I’ve delved into my beliefs, values and behaviours with regards to money. Thankfully, I haven’t been alone on this journey; I’ve undertaken courses, read books, listened to experts on podcasts and had many lengthy conversations with friends on a similar journey. 

 Our money mindset is likely to be shaped by our upbringing.  My parents did a sterling job of managing finances in such a way that as a child, I had no reason to give money much thought. As far as I was concerned, we were not “rich” but had enough money for the things we needed for a very happy childhood.

One money related childhood memory is of my dad, having realised that we might not have the funds for a summer holiday that year, hunched over his notebook doing and redoing calculations until he was in a position to announce that there would indeed be a holiday. It became a running joke that dad would just do the sums over and over, adjusting figures until they gave the correct answer - that we were going on holiday!

For me, money mindset encompasses four components:

Beliefs

Values

Emotions

Behaviours

My beliefs and values

I think it’s generally accepted that money is a necessity and that having very little money can make life more challenging. I know the saying, “Money can’t buy happiness” can be contentious. My personal belief is that money alone does not bring happiness. What it can do, when used effectively, is remove a degree of worry and hardship; money is required to provide accommodation and food to name some of the most basic needs. It can allow greater freedom and control over one’s life as well as life enhancing experiences and possessions. 

What money cannot do, however, is fully mitigate the influence of factors like health and relationships. So, while acknowledging the nuances, I believe that money is extremely important in life but it is not the most important thing in my life.

To align your finances with your values, it's essential to identify what's important to you. Each of us will have different values, influenced by our previous experience of money. Money does not represent success or status to me but I do value financial stability. I like to plan for my future and know that I will be able to financially support my plans. It’s also important to me to be able to enjoy life here and now with the people I love.

I’ve come to view money not as a tool which I can use to help me build the kind of life I want to live. That sounds quite straightforward but has actually involved a lot of soul searching and consideration about what truly matters to me. As I shared in a previous blog post, I have embraced frugality as a means of balancing feelings of scarcity and abundance. Coupled with a positive mindset, this allows me to enjoy life by prioritising the things that matter most to me.

Previously when considering freedom in relation to money, my assumption was that this meant aiming to have more money, leading to financial freedom. What I’ve come to understand is quite different; the realisation that we do not need vast sums of money brings freedom from money. Of course I need money to live, I'll openly admit that sometimes it would be nice to have a little bit more, but I won’t be convinced to give up my freedom in return for money which is in excess of what I need.

Emotions and Behaviours

Much as I hate the idea of being ruled by money, I have to admit that the thought of having no financial security fills me with fear. Although I’m not driven by the accumulation of money, I do rely on having a certain amount in order to maintain the lifestyle I have established not only for myself but for my family. The thought of not having enough money in the bank to cover our monthly living costs would send me into extreme panic. Such emotions undeniably influence my behaviour when it comes to money. 

I can identify a direct correlation between how I feel about money and my spending habits. At various stages in life I’ve experienced both scarcity and abundance mindsets. When I’ve been in a scarcity mindset I’ve felt scared to spend money, worried that I’ll regret it if I later need something else. This is when I put off hairdresser appointments or keep an item in the online basket for days before convincing myself I don’t really need it anyway. In periods of abundance mindset I’ve felt more confident and have been more relaxed about spending money and life in general. You’d be able to spot when I’m embracing an abundance mindset because pretty new accessories appear in the house! When riding high on an abundance mindset I've also felt more inclined to plan for and invest in the future, knowing that I had enough money. I actually find myself wondering now whether there’s anything wrong with moving between these two mindsets at different times…

Some habits do die hard though and even with a positive money mindset now, it feels more natural for me to be very careful with money. It doesn’t come easily to me to spend money on myself, often feeling that there could be a better use of the money. To alleviate anxiety I budget very carefully to ensure that I have enough to live on while also looking ahead to build a little security for the future. 

We reaped the benefits of this when I had to leave my job to support our son and protect my own mental health. We were able to use our Rainy Day savings to buy us time to plan a future which would be funded by one rather than two salaries. Having this allowed us to focus on health and happiness rather than money concerns and my positive money mindset from “I can’t afford to quit” towards “How can I afford to quit?” - just as dad had done when it came to those precious holidays. 

I’d be lying if I said there had been no middle of the night calculations, lying in bed worrying  about our reduced income.  It was this massive change in our financial situation which propelled me to learn as much as I could about how to use money as a tool to achieve the life I wanted. 

As I faced the prospect of vastly reduced household income, I was fortunate that pride or

concerns about status did not have to be managed. Instead I was free to focus on how I could make our money work for us.  

Being married to someone who shares my values has allowed us over the years us to make financial decisions including career changes based on interests, wellbeing and happiness rather than feeling burdened by the pursuit of status or vast salaries. That, to us, is freedom.

Knowledge is Power

There are numerous experts who provide practical advice on improving your relationship with finances. I launched myself into a succession of audiobooks and podcasts. The financial gurus who excited me were the ones who taught me that mindset and attitude towards life, not just money, is key. This was empowering: I may not have had a lot of control over how much money was coming in but there was nothing stopping me from having a positive money mindset. The more I learned, the more confident I felt in my ability to use my money mindset to guide me in decisions and help me live a life I love.

my introduction to personal finance literature was Morgan Housel’s book The Psychology of Money , which encouraged me to examine my own relationship with money and make choices that align with my values and goals. I was pleasantly surprised to find that learning about money money didn’t necessarily have to mean getting my head round complicated stocks and shares or investment strategies. Instead, the author spoke my language - less maths, more feelings. 

Much of the content I found was American so I was delighted to come across Your Money Sorted, a business set up by a money coach who is not only a fellow Scot but also focuses specifically on supporting teachers to learn about how to maximise their money in order to create flexibility and freedom in their lives. The free courses provided through Your Money Sorted highlighted to me the importance of mindset in helping me to make an escape from teaching possible.

Die With Zero by Bill Perkins was an exciting discovery on my financial education journey. One thing I’ve wrestled with is balancing securing financial security for a future which is not guaranteed and using money to enjoy life NOW. Unlike many books about finance, Die With Zero was not encouraging the accumulation of wealth to be stashed away in a bank but instead focused on using money to live a rich life. It made me think of my dad who sadly never lived to see the retirement he had planned for and I was so glad that his money mindset had allowed him to enjoy life while he could. 

The knowledge I’ve gained from financial experts, teamed with my own beliefs and values has increased my confidence in managing money and making financial plans. I believe my money mindset is crucial in supporting me to design a life I love. My wish is that my children will observe this, just as I watched my own dad, and that it will foster a positive money mindset in them. 

How’s your money mindset? I hope that I have been successful in conveying how powerful a positive mindset can be for anyone who is striving to live a rich life, in the truest sense. It’s never too late to start cultivating that mindset!

For further money mindset inspiration, check out these links:

The Psychology of Money - the bestselling book which discusses the emotional aspect of managing your money

Die With Zero - a guide to living rather than dying rich

Your Money Sorted - check out the website for an array of resources including a podcast for teachers who want to improve their financial wellbeing

The Freedom of the Frugal: How Frugality Is Enabling Me To Live My Best Life - my blog detailing how a frugal approach is supporting the life I love

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