Social Media: Striking A Balance

Have you ever noticed that once you start thinking about something, it pops up everywhere? That’s been my week. Everywhere I looked—book shop displays, radio discussions, my podcast playlist —social media was the hot topic. So, here I am, diving into the social media conversation.

Conversation around social media is ongoing, especially around whether and how much children and teenagers should hi be allowed to use it.  In the UK, more schools are implementing phone bans for pupils and encouraging parents to extend this to the home. Meanwhile in Australia, the government is in the process of working on a bill which would ban children and teens under a certain age from using social media at all.

I think it would be hypocritical of me to even begin to weigh in on this without first examining my own use of social media. Social media to me is largely Facebook and Instagram - the bug guns. My kids have despaired at my lack of interest in Tiktok and I still don’t understand how SnapChat works. I’ve dipped in and out of Twitter (I still call it that) and am currently exploring Threads. 

So while I’m far from an oracle on the subject, in this post, I’ll share my own complicated relationship with social media - how it’s connected me to amazing communities, yet also frustrated me with its algorithms and shallow trends - and explore how we can strike a balance.

The Good Old Days

I was never one of the early adopters of any platform but inevitably a friend would persuade me to move on and expand my online communication methods. So around 18 years ago I signed up to Bebo and then progressed to Facebook where I proudly shared the first few years of my kids' lives and enjoyed following the lives of far away friends as well as catching up with old school friends and acquaintances. Let’s be honest, it was also great for a wee sneaky peek at the profiles of people you were no longer in touch with but were curious about! Then I felt a bit cool when I started using Instagram to share the odd photo. They are the two platforms which have had the greatest social media presence for me. 

My very first Facebook profile photo

I’ve acknowledged the part podcasts have played in helping me to establish my Rich Life , it’s only fair that I do the same for social media. I wouldn’t want to hurt Mr Zuckerberg’s feelings!

While my relationship with podcasts has been straightforward—found them, loved them, still love them—social media has been more like the hokey cokey: in, out, in, out.

Nice To Share?

Social media has become one of my main ways to share my blog and connect with others. Through it, I’ve found like-minded people facing similar life situations, and it’s even rekindled connections with old friends and colleagues. Sharing more openly on Facebook and Instagram has led to some heartwarming messages from people I hadn’t spoken to in years.

Although opening up about the harder aspects of life doesn’t come naturally to me, doing so has felt liberating. There are still moments of hesitation - wondering if I should really post something - but I’m learning to trust that a bit of vulnerability can lead to deeper connections. The newly emboldened version of me is learning to show (to use cliche I hate) a more authentic version of myself, even though friends and family might be reading. Thankfully, no one has disowned me yet! And I’m in control; I can share content I hope will be valuable while still keeping some of my life private.

Some of the experiences I’ve had in my life over the past few years could have been extremely isolating. However, thanks to Facebook groups I realised that I was not the only teacher desperate to quit, I was not alone in having a child struggling to go to school and I’m one of many women experiencing the ups and downs of midlife. Facebook provided me with  supportive communities that have been there to share advice, celebrate successes, empathise with my struggles and signpost to useful accounts. These groups have reminded me that I’m not alone.

Falling Out Of Love

But while these communities have been a lifeline, social media isn’t without its frustrations. I can absolutely understand why so many people seem to have a love-hate relationship with Facebook and Instagram. While they can be brilliant for connecting, who can say in all honesty that they haven’t found it annoying to have their feed include the “look how wonderful my life is” or attention seeking posts? And then there are the posts which you know are just downright lies! This constant performance can create a pressure to keep up, turning what should be a source of connection into a source of stress.

A few years ago, I’d had enough of the ‘highlight reel’ and abandoned Facebook for a while. I shifted to Instagram, where endless cute animal reels and travel ideas offered a lighthearted escape.

Is Social Media Bad For Us?

Social media can be full of triggers for FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out) and self-comparison.

Who hasn’t sat in a messy house, scrolling through pictures of someone else’s pristine home, or braced themselves for a rainy walk while gazing at exotic holiday photos?

Use of social media is rarely debated without reference to concerns about its effect on mental health. Some of those “perfect life” posts can create unrealistic expectations and foster feelings of comparison and inadequacy. While some would argue that it is motivating and inspirational, others worry that exposure to seemingly perfect lives can lead to low self-esteem.  

Then there is the question of social media addiction. I have questioned - not just questioned, I’ve done the quiz!- whether I was addicted to social media. I concluded that I am not. While I do spend time on it almost every day, I can happily do other things without giving any thought to the online world.

Or Is It Good For Us?

Although I recognise that there are some danger areas in social media when it comes to mental health, I’d argue that it can also be beneficial. With loneliness on the rise in the UK, social media can offer a way for people who would otherwise have no contact with others to connect and potentially feel part of a community, even if it is online.

While I could do without the show-offs, I do appreciate those who share ideas and inspiration and often find posts inspiring and thought provoking.

I would never advocate social media as a replacement for real-life connections. However, that’s not to say it can’t bring new people into our lives. There’s a vast and varied world out there and I think the people we connect with online can offer us insights to different cultures and ways of living.

Striking a Balance

As social media continues to evolve, I think platforms like Facebook and Instagram are here to stay. For me, it’s about managing my relationship with them.

Admittedly, I could do with further limiting the time I spend scrolling. What I have done is declutter my feed by only following accounts which will allow me to learn, connect or be entertained. My main source of entertainment online comes in the form of my original Instagram account where my feed brings me cute animals, exotic destinations and beautiful homes - all things that help me to relax.

My other accounts are where I do my learning and connecting. I can honestly say that some of the people I’ve connected with have helped me to improve my life and I try to return the favour where I can. 

What About The Kids?

The issue of children and social media is worthy of its own post (and I’ll be leaving that for someone who has actually done the research). However, as a parent I do think it’s important to stay informed about the risks and try to set a good example. 

There are legitimate concerns about young people’s use of social media. However, I sometimes feel it’s unfairly portrayed as the bad guy. I'm writing this article with my recent posts still in my mind and thinking of the many children unable to attend school or spend time with their peers. Doesn’t social media offer them some much needed connection?

Ultimately, I think it’s about knowing your child, learning with them, having open discussion and setting the boundaries you feel are appropriate. 

I’ve concluded that social media is what we make of it. Used with intention and boundaries, it can be a powerful tool for connection and learning. My goal is to continue using it intentionally - to connect with those who matter and focus on content that brings value.

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