Stories
“You should write a blog” was something my husband, James, said to me many times before I ever seriously considered it.
As a child, I loved writing. One of my earliest memories is of my introductory visit to primary school where I ensconced myself in the Writing corner and “wrote” stories. At home, I was forever stapling pieces of paper together to make books and filling them with stories - usually about horses. I sustained my interest in writing all the way through school and my favourite subject was always English. Although it was suggested that I should study English at university, my heart was set on teaching. As I focused on my studies, my career and then being a mum, my interest in writing must have fallen by the wayside.
Little did I know that my passion for writing would return and I’d be blogging my way through midlife!
Changes
If you’ve been following my blog, you’ll be aware that there’s been a lot of change in my life recently. Change is something we all go through at various stages of life and we should be prepared for this. Sometimes, however, change comes hurtling itself at us in ways and at times that we hadn’t expected.
I was not braced for the changes that I’ve experienced in the last three years from leaving my teaching career to supporting my son in autistic burnout. I have found myself now living a life different to the life I had planned (and you know how I love to plan!). I’m creating a life I love…soul searching….trying life on…whatever we want to label it! It’s wonderful and it’s exciting and it’s terrifying and overwhelming. I hope that documenting my journey in my blog will allow me to look back at this time and help me to remember the steps I’ve taken and lessons I’ve learned in my bid to create a life I love.
Life Begins at 40?
In 2022 I found myself at 40, thrown into a year of adaptation and soul searching. That year brought change, uncertainty and loss but also freedom and possibility. All of a sudden I was unexpectedly presented with the opportunity to live “otherwise”.
As luck would have it, two people close to me were handed their lives to reshape around the same time. They are my wee tribe and together we are working through completely different situations but sharing many of the same feelings,challenges and ambitions. It feels like a precious gift, and a privilege. However, it also feels overwhelming. It’s relentless and exhausting (but still I feel like the luckiest girl!).
There have been times when I have felt isolated in my thoughts or experiences. Connecting with communities of people who were dealing with similar situations was a huge source of knowledge, support and encouragement and it offered validation at a time when I felt upended. The thought of others trying to cope without such support niggled away at me and I felt a desire to reach out.
Otherwise Kate
My method of reaching out came through launching my blog, “Otherwise Kate”. I’ve always been anything but “otherwise” - I spent most of my life conforming and doing what was expected. The word “otherwise” features prominently in conversations with my tribe and was an easy pick when it came to naming my blog. As for Kate - I just thought it was catchier than Katie!
Lifelong Learning
Whatever else the last few years may have brought me, one thing I’m grateful for has been the opportunity to learn. You don’t spend twenty years as a teacher without the word “learning” being part of your key vocabulary. However, I don’t think I really appreciated just what a thrill I get from learning about something that truly matters to me - gaining knowledge that can shape and improve my life and the lives of people I love. As all educators know, the best learning occurs when there is intrinsic motivation and I’ve now found that.
My husband is a brilliant example of someone who thrives on learning and throws himself into hobbies. I’ve often been envious of his dedication to his photography hobby. He can spend hours researching lenses and watching tutorials to help him improve his photography. This is something I had not experienced until I delved into blogging and experienced the motivation of wanting to develop skills to help me improve at my new found hobby.
You can take the teacher out of the classroom…
There’s a saying, “You can take the teacher out of the classroom but you can’t take the classroom out of the teacher” and I think this might be true in my case. I seem to be incapable of keeping my new found knowledge to myself. It genuinely pains me! If I learn something and think it will help or interest someone I know, I feel compelled to share this with them.
A more cynical wife could almost suspect that James’ insistence that I should share my knowledge in a blog was a ploy to reduce the amount of time he would be subjected to me imparting the details of whatever podcast I had been listening to…
“Katie needs to be more confident”
I haven’t always been so keen to share my knowledge. The phrase “Katie needs to be more confident” has followed me through life, from school reports to professional reviews. I suppose I’ve always been one of the quieter, less noticeable people in the room. In a group, I don’t feel entirely comfortable speaking out. The world needs talkers and the world needs listeners. I’ve always been better at listening and this means that I’ve probably kept a fair bit of myself to myself.
My best friend of thirty years told me not longer after I started my blog that I seem more comfortable sharing my thoughts and feelings in written form than through speech. I suspect this is because I’m one of those learners who needs “thinking time” and writing allows me that time in a way that spoken conversation doesn’t. Sharing my story, at times, has pushed me out of my comfort zone and that’s something I used to avoid at all costs.
I’m still quite shocked at how unfiltered I’ve been in my blog. My only explanation is that I have this overwhelming feeling that it’s time for me to be more open about my thoughts and feelings and who I really am. Writing about my life has also proven to be a cathartic experience, helping me to make sense of my relentless internal monologue.
In Control
I’m fortunate that my blog is a hobby, a “passion project” if you like. I’m not relying on it to make money. This gives me freedom to do whatever I want with it. Of course I’d like my blog to do well and I would be disappointed if nobody thought it was worth reading but I have no targets to hit or deadlines to meet other than those imposed by myself. This frees me from the chains of blogging “rules”. I am at liberty to take what I learn and decide if or when it feels right to apply it to my blog.
As a blogger, I’m supposed to have a niche but I would still struggle to define this. I’ve written about, and intend to continue to write about, a range of topics. My journey, my life, is about so many different elements and it’s important to me that my blog encompasses each of them. Some have suggested that my niche is “my story”. For now that might mean that some of my topics resonate more than others for some of my readers. That’s OK with me, I’m more than happy for different people to find different articles helpful.
The Future
I’m so grateful for the opportunities I’m having (even though they may not have felt like opportunities initially) to reconsider life and so grateful to all of you who have taken the time to support me by reading my blog, subscribing, commenting and sending messages. I hope that my blog has brought comfort, support or hope to people who have been seeking it. That has been my primary objective.
After only six months, it’s hard to imagine life without blogging. It’s given me purpose, something that’s just “my thing”. I still have lots to learn and I’m excited to take Otherwise Kate into a new year. I hope you’ll continue to follow me!
Your ability as a writer really does shine through, keep 'em coming!